Do you want to know what it is? Brace yourself: Most people will never read your screenplay. Relative to how many people will watch the finished film, hardly anyone reads the script. Generally speaking, a film production without a screenplay is a film production without a plan. The director has nothing to interpret, the actors have no one to play, and the story… Well, there is no story.

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An E4 show in the UK, it successfully mapped out the male adolescent experience with greater success than, well, basically any show before it.

Will is a public private schoolkid whose parents have divorced and now he finds himself having to go to state public school, with grand ideas and lack of social graces, that will only make him bully fodder. Neil is an charming ignoramus who gets by on luck alone.

They are… inbetweeners. And they are all pretty useless. So how does it the US version stack up? Well questions must be asked. Firstly, everyone has the same name. Simon, Jay, Will, Neil, Mr Gilbert, Carly, Charlotte, Donovan, etc, which makes they scripts a hell of a lot easier to read and compare, if you are familiar with the original.

So how do they stand up? Sunshine Mountain is very much based on the Thorpe Park episode of the UK version, with some new motivation and embarrassment. Carly is going there with her boyfriend and Simon wants to get in with her, which makes getting him with Jay and Will to the theme park is a lot easier. And obviously he fails horrifically.

The writers of the original episode, hailed by many as one of the best, were Damon Beesley and Iain Morris, the US script is credited solely to Brad Copeland, which I think is a bit unfair.

While Jay is trying to have his first wet dream by not masturbating. And the Cooking Club song scene reads in a spectacular fashion, as does the arrival of the blowtorch. And his mixture of aggression and understanding is an intoxicating one, good cop and bad cop in one person. Because while the British Inbetweeners have got into some awkward genital scrapes — an emergent testicle at the fashion show, naked except for a sock and delirious with cold on a small boat, none of them have ever thought to try and fuck a jacuzzi and get their dick stuck for two hours.

It makes it into a different show. Originally a jovial fellow a little too full of himself, he becomes some kind of manic overachieving golfer and competitive dad, without the bumbling good natured version of the original. Simon has always been a natural moral compass of the show, even if one easily led astray, and you could kind of see where he got it from. The biggest changes are with the adults it seems. Mr Gilbert, in the UK version he is a sarcastic bully with horrifically dry wit and a disdain for pupils.

That had language and turns of phrase that rivalled The Thick Of It. This version on the right is as strong as the US version gets. Compared to from the UK; Jay: So I had one bent over the table here, there was one up here who I was fingering and I was just toe fucking the one on the floor.

Will: So when do we get to meet these lucky ladies? And there is no US equivalent of "clunge" it seems. Maybe not the "white schoolchildren winning a fellow black student as a slave" scene below with the extensive, excrutiating guilt and realisation that follows from The Masters.

Throw in a few ad libs. They may well make it to the screen….



Would you care for a beverage? You got that? They have no reason to check my photo memory unless I report suspicious activity. There is no suspicious activity here. The rest of their getaway goes about as smooth as a getaway can get. So much so that the two robbers make an appointment with Driver Les for their next heist.


Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Shit, is that Carli? Right in front of everyone? And yet, and yet Christ, you make me so erect. Gimme love, gimme love, gimme love.

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